adversity toby mccosker

Lessons From the Frontline: Toby McCosker on Leading Through Adversity

Mar 13, 2025

Leadership isn’t forged in the comfort of easy times. It’s shaped in the chaos — in the middle of high-stakes projects, shifting ground, and people counting on you when the future feels uncertain. I’m Toby McCosker, and this is what I’ve learned from leading through adversity in construction, business, and life.

The Pressure Is Real — and Relentless

The construction industry doesn’t hand out second chances. Margins are tight, deadlines are brutal, and most days you’re juggling more variables than any one person should. Leadership in this space isn’t about barking orders — it’s about staying calm when the storm hits. When payroll needs to be met, when a site floods, or when a client goes dark with your last progress payment, someone has to hold the line.

Over the past two decades, I’ve held that line more times than I can count. I’ve kept hundreds of people employed through downturns, navigated million-dollar builds under extreme pressure, and paid the price — mentally, financially, and personally — for the responsibility that came with it.

When Loyalty Gets Tested

One of the hardest lessons in leadership is realizing that people’s loyalty has a price — and often, that price is money. I’ve had trusted employees flip when the cash flow tightened. I’ve had friends ghost me when the headlines turned. You learn quickly that resilience isn’t just about being strong — it’s about being clear-eyed. You must know who’s truly with you, and who’s just along for the ride.

This isn’t a complaint. It’s reality. If you lead long enough, you’ll get burned. But those burns teach you where to place your trust next time — and how to keep your values intact even when others compromise theirs.

Staying in the Fight

When Alurt and Vallec collapsed, I didn’t disappear. I stayed to clean it up, talk to creditors, support the team, and front the storm. That’s leadership. Not walking away when it’s all too hard — but facing it, owning your part, and protecting others where you can.

This industry can be brutal. And yet I’ve come back time and time again, not because I love the pain, but because I believe in building. Not just buildings — but teams, systems, and futures.

The Cost of Being First In, Last Out

Leadership comes with invisible costs. You put up your personal guarantees. You loan the business money. You lose sleep trying to make sure everyone gets paid before you do. And in the end, if things fall apart, you become the easiest target — because you didn’t run.

If you’re reading this and you’re a business owner, project leader, or someone holding it together with grit and late nights — you’re not alone. I’ve been there. I still am. And I’m not quitting.

Final Thought

True leadership is about responsibility. About getting the job done — even when it’s unpopular, even when it costs you more than anyone sees. My journey isn’t perfect. But it’s real. And it’s far from over.

More from Toby McCosker

Tobias (Toby) McCosker is the founder of Built By Toby. After two decades in construction and business, he now shares raw lessons from the frontline.
Explore more at BuiltByToby.com.au